Family Gatherings

One thing is for sure, if you go to a Japanese American family gathering there will be tons of food.  Recently, my family got together for Thanksgiving and we had about 30 people.  We had two huge turkeys (I made one of them, my first turkey, a 15 pounder, and it turned out! ), gravy, a honey-baked ham, candied yams, mashed potatoes, rice, 3 jello salads, pumpkin pie, apple pie, spinach dip, brie dip, egg rolls, crudites, rolls, creamed corn, cookies and I am probably forgetting some of the other food.

Everyone helped out with the cooking or brought food to the gathering.  It is really nice being with the extended family.  One of my cousins once told me she loves having a huge extended family because she never feels alone.  I grew up always having cousins or relatives come and visit and stay at our house and we did the same on vacations.  I remember once in elementary school, a classmate told me she did not know her first cousins and I was just stunned as I couldn't imagine that.

Grandparents only speak Japanese

When I was a child, every grandma and grandpa or older person my sisters and I  knew, only spoke Japanese.  We all thought that when you became a grandparent you would automatically only be able to speak Japanese.  We worried that we would not be able to communicate with our grandchildren.  I remember one day we were sitting at the kitchen table and we expressed our concern to our mom.  My mom was stunned that we all thought this.  She calmly explained to us that since we spoke English now, we would when we were older and she assured us we would be able to speak English to our grandchildren.  We were all relieved to hear that from our mom.

Japanese Inventions

Here are some interesting Japanese inventions. Very creative!

Reading Japanese

When I was in elementary school, every Saturday, I had to go to Japanese School.  I thought it was such an injustice to have to go to school on a Saturday!  We learned to read and write hiragana.   Hiragana is a set of Japanese characters that were usually taught first when I was growing up since it is simpler to read and write.   My mom was taught katakana first, which is set of characters used for non-Japanese words.  I also was taught katakana but I think because I was taught hiragana first, I know those characters better and my mom said she knows katakana better.  Kanji is the more complicated characters, which I know a few, but not enough to read and write.

I have relatives that live in Japan and when they write my family letters, they write in hiragana since it is simpler for us to read.  Since I can read hiragana better than my mom,  I read the letter out loud in hiragana but I don't really understand what I am reading, but my mom understands the Japanese so between the two of us we can understand the letter.  I was talking to my cousin the other day and she said she does the same thing with her mom.

Just find it interesting to be able to read a letter, but not necessarily understand its meaning.

Koden - A Practical Tradition

I have always thought the custom of giving Koden, a monetary gift, at funerals is a very practical way to show a family support in a time of greiving.  The money is often used to pay for the funeral.  People provide envelopes with their address on them with the monetary gift so that the family can send them a thank you card.  People are assigned to collect the envelopes at the funeral, usually in a box, on a table. It is customary to give the same amount or more, than the person gave you,  if you attend a funeral for one of their family members.  Japanese-American funerals are typically big events and everyone attends.

I learned what to do with Koden from one of my uncles, who presided over the Koden process at many of our family funerals.  I remember the first time I was allowed to sit at the table and participate in the process.   After the service and the meal that we always have,  my uncle brought the Koden envelopes, filed in the boxes by family name, to the table.  We were assigned jobs.  We separated checks into a pile to be deposited later and the cash in another pile.  We had some people addressing envelopes and putting on stamps on the envelopes.  At the end of the evening, the gifts were recorded, the checks were ready to be deposited, all the thank you cards had been written and envelopes stamped and ready to be mailed.  The efficiency in which my uncle ran this process was impressive and I'll always remember how he led us.  He has since passed away but that is a memory I will always have of him.