Koden - A Practical Tradition

I have always thought the custom of giving Koden, a monetary gift, at funerals is a very practical way to show a family support in a time of greiving.  The money is often used to pay for the funeral.  People provide envelopes with their address on them with the monetary gift so that the family can send them a thank you card.  People are assigned to collect the envelopes at the funeral, usually in a box, on a table. It is customary to give the same amount or more, than the person gave you,  if you attend a funeral for one of their family members.  Japanese-American funerals are typically big events and everyone attends.

I learned what to do with Koden from one of my uncles, who presided over the Koden process at many of our family funerals.  I remember the first time I was allowed to sit at the table and participate in the process.   After the service and the meal that we always have,  my uncle brought the Koden envelopes, filed in the boxes by family name, to the table.  We were assigned jobs.  We separated checks into a pile to be deposited later and the cash in another pile.  We had some people addressing envelopes and putting on stamps on the envelopes.  At the end of the evening, the gifts were recorded, the checks were ready to be deposited, all the thank you cards had been written and envelopes stamped and ready to be mailed.  The efficiency in which my uncle ran this process was impressive and I'll always remember how he led us.  He has since passed away but that is a memory I will always have of him.