How to Deal: H.A. style

If you're not Japanese American, think about the last funeral you went to. There was probably a lot of crying and black. Lots and lots of black. Black dresses, black coats, black slacks. Mostly black. Along with the black clothes, you pobably saw black metaphorically as well. The black cloud that hung over the church (or wherever the ceremony had been held) and dark expressions on the faces of each attendee. Darkness. The unknown. That is part of what makes death so frightening. What will happen next? We as humans are programmed to feel fear.

If you are Japanese American, I would like you to picture the last funeral you attended (Hawaiians too). When you think about it, what do you see? Do you see black? Do you see anguish? Unless you are a very strange H.A., you probably see more colors. Bright colors. Flowers and different colored mochi. You might see your grandmother smiling with the deceased's spouse.

When you first see the contrast between the two, you may think of Japanese Americans as heartless people who do not respect death. I like to think of us as a step ahead. We see death as peace. We don't see anguish and defeat, we see the love and joy the deceased had lived . We see good times and our loved ones finally at peace. Through death we don't see pain or defeat or agony.

We see peace.